you can't sleep
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
You can't sleep so you call me
wanting to pass your waking late night hours
with me
but not this time.
Your words are the same
the were old months ago
You were hoping that the magic was still there
but it isn't
You assumed me happy ,
my hands opened and held out
for the scraps you drop from your bed
but you were mistaken
I am moving on
your status downgraded to banished servant
You have to stop coming around
fucking up my nights and therefore my days
but you don't.
You can't sleep so you call me
wanting to pass your waking late night hours
with me
but not this time
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Must Think Me Dirty
Must think me dirty
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
Sitting here looking out the window at a city I barely know,
knowing not if I can call myself fine again
knowing not when the thought of you won't wake me up from a dream.
It has been a lifetime since I have seen you.
My bed wouldn't recognize you
and i have long since changed the sheets and washed the floors and windows.
I still remember the way your skin shivered when I rubbed my fingers on your arm
and how my breath would catch when you kissed me.
These are not thoughts to have in public places
and yet it seems strangely fitting as Tori sings to me in this room of strangers.
I feel like the details are written all over me
and that these people are craning their necks to read the chicken scratch on my arms.
I know they can hear my thoughts and they must think me dirty.
What they don't know is that we aren't together
and that no matter how many times I imagine our bodies together
mine has been replaced and so has yours.
But that doesn't stop you from all but being with me right now
in this stranger filled room on the corner of a city that doesn't know my name.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
Sitting here looking out the window at a city I barely know,
knowing not if I can call myself fine again
knowing not when the thought of you won't wake me up from a dream.
It has been a lifetime since I have seen you.
My bed wouldn't recognize you
and i have long since changed the sheets and washed the floors and windows.
I still remember the way your skin shivered when I rubbed my fingers on your arm
and how my breath would catch when you kissed me.
These are not thoughts to have in public places
and yet it seems strangely fitting as Tori sings to me in this room of strangers.
I feel like the details are written all over me
and that these people are craning their necks to read the chicken scratch on my arms.
I know they can hear my thoughts and they must think me dirty.
What they don't know is that we aren't together
and that no matter how many times I imagine our bodies together
mine has been replaced and so has yours.
But that doesn't stop you from all but being with me right now
in this stranger filled room on the corner of a city that doesn't know my name.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
Moonlit reminders
[close] ShareThis[+ reading list][- reading list]Moonlit reminder
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
As the moon shines blue in your window
awaking you from delusional slumber
and after the momentary panic passes,
you think of me.
As pangs of loss from the past revisit
tearing through your wall of resolution
showing you what you don't cop to during daylight,
you see my face.
As the sound of her dreaming sneaks in
reminding you that you are not alone
and your chosen road does not lead to me
I stay on your mind.
As you think "This was over years ago,
Wounds were healed by time and vows taken"
you close your eyes to escape the truth of night.
But I am still there.
As you wish in secrecy that I come back
filling that space that only fits my form
clarifying all the blurry aspects of your life
I remain the girl who almost was.
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
As the moon shines blue in your window
awaking you from delusional slumber
and after the momentary panic passes,
you think of me.
As pangs of loss from the past revisit
tearing through your wall of resolution
showing you what you don't cop to during daylight,
you see my face.
As the sound of her dreaming sneaks in
reminding you that you are not alone
and your chosen road does not lead to me
I stay on your mind.
As you think "This was over years ago,
Wounds were healed by time and vows taken"
you close your eyes to escape the truth of night.
But I am still there.
As you wish in secrecy that I come back
filling that space that only fits my form
clarifying all the blurry aspects of your life
I remain the girl who almost was.
Whisky down your throat
whiskey down your throat
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
Sometimes what a girl wants a girl gets....
I want to be the knot in your stomach
I want to be the first drag of your cigarette
I want to be the needle tearing your flesh
I want to be hot coals under your feet
I want to be the hand you can't walk away from
I want to be a stiff drink in a dirty bar
I want to be your first dream of the night
I want to be the fire in your desert
I want to be the thunder in your storm
I want to be the tracks up your arms
I want to be the whiskey down your throat
I want to be the girl that you regret
I want to be the one you hide from your friends
I want to be the one you can't get enough of
I want to be your addiction.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
Sometimes what a girl wants a girl gets....
I want to be the knot in your stomach
I want to be the first drag of your cigarette
I want to be the needle tearing your flesh
I want to be hot coals under your feet
I want to be the hand you can't walk away from
I want to be a stiff drink in a dirty bar
I want to be your first dream of the night
I want to be the fire in your desert
I want to be the thunder in your storm
I want to be the tracks up your arms
I want to be the whiskey down your throat
I want to be the girl that you regret
I want to be the one you hide from your friends
I want to be the one you can't get enough of
I want to be your addiction.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
Inquiry
If I carried this weight for you
and my arms were breaking and my skin was raw
and i stumbled towards you with tears in my eyes
and my body wary, would you notice how much I have done?
If I proved to you that I was willing to go the distance
and run down the dark roads with holes in my shoes
not knowing the directions because my map is faded and torn
would you turn on your porch light to let me know you are home?
If I gave up my favorite things because you didn't like them
and I went through my days longing for the things I couldn't have
and cried out in my sleep for just one moments time with my passions
would you see the error in your ways and apologize for making me chose?
If I told you that this was enough for me to hold on to
and that I could go the rest of my life feeding on nothing more
than the crumbs that are left behind from the things you throw away
would you see that I was settling for less than I deserve?
If I came to you in the middle of the night soaked to the core
and shivering from the cold rain that fell on me as I ran in the darkness
feeling desperate to just tell you that I was unable to sleep without yo
would you invite me in and lend me a dry shirt and let me sleep on your couch
If I told you this was killing me slowly from the inside out
and that part of me wants to give up on you and never turn back to see what I left
and that the other part of me is willing to sacrafice my life for one night with you
Would you do the noble thing even if I don't know which one that is?
If I left you behind after telling that I would never give up on us
and I moved on to a new love and a new life and a new frame of mind
and I spent my every energy telling myself I was doing the right thing by forgetting you
would you point out to me that If I had to convince myself than it wasn't true
If I was gone for years and never contacted you out of fear of what you would say
and then one day when I was selfish and self destructive I found you in the same old place
and out of nowhere I told you that I am here to remind you of what I gave up on a million days ago
would you be willing to go back even though we both know it wouldn't be the same?
If I did my same old magic and showed my hand to your friends and made you guess my intentions
and tempted the sanctity of your word and your dedications
would you throw me away like I gave up on you when I was innocent?
and my arms were breaking and my skin was raw
and i stumbled towards you with tears in my eyes
and my body wary, would you notice how much I have done?
If I proved to you that I was willing to go the distance
and run down the dark roads with holes in my shoes
not knowing the directions because my map is faded and torn
would you turn on your porch light to let me know you are home?
If I gave up my favorite things because you didn't like them
and I went through my days longing for the things I couldn't have
and cried out in my sleep for just one moments time with my passions
would you see the error in your ways and apologize for making me chose?
If I told you that this was enough for me to hold on to
and that I could go the rest of my life feeding on nothing more
than the crumbs that are left behind from the things you throw away
would you see that I was settling for less than I deserve?
If I came to you in the middle of the night soaked to the core
and shivering from the cold rain that fell on me as I ran in the darkness
feeling desperate to just tell you that I was unable to sleep without yo
would you invite me in and lend me a dry shirt and let me sleep on your couch
If I told you this was killing me slowly from the inside out
and that part of me wants to give up on you and never turn back to see what I left
and that the other part of me is willing to sacrafice my life for one night with you
Would you do the noble thing even if I don't know which one that is?
If I left you behind after telling that I would never give up on us
and I moved on to a new love and a new life and a new frame of mind
and I spent my every energy telling myself I was doing the right thing by forgetting you
would you point out to me that If I had to convince myself than it wasn't true
If I was gone for years and never contacted you out of fear of what you would say
and then one day when I was selfish and self destructive I found you in the same old place
and out of nowhere I told you that I am here to remind you of what I gave up on a million days ago
would you be willing to go back even though we both know it wouldn't be the same?
If I did my same old magic and showed my hand to your friends and made you guess my intentions
and tempted the sanctity of your word and your dedications
would you throw me away like I gave up on you when I was innocent?
Flowers pressed in my bible
I can run
and I can debate with everyone who calls me out
and I can try to forget
and I can hide the secrets
and the flowers I pressed in my bible
and try to replace
and I can ignore
and bury my cryptic poetry in the box under my bed
and try not to dream about
But I can't deny
and trick myself into thinking that I have healed
and that I have fallen out of love with
you
-2008
and I can debate with everyone who calls me out
and I can try to forget
and I can hide the secrets
and the flowers I pressed in my bible
and try to replace
and I can ignore
and bury my cryptic poetry in the box under my bed
and try not to dream about
But I can't deny
and trick myself into thinking that I have healed
and that I have fallen out of love with
you
-2008
No More
No More
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
The monotony in your smile is blinding.
Suggesting in technicolor
that you aren't even trying.
Tiptoeing across the delicate balances,
you keep your status in check.
Your ego reaches the heights of legend.
Evermore the knight in shiny armor
to everyone but me.
I am no more the scapegoat for your aloof sensibilities.
A request it didn't occur to you make.
Nonetheless.
A gap is left upon my departure
unfitting to my form.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
A Poem by Sarah McKeever Hitt
The monotony in your smile is blinding.
Suggesting in technicolor
that you aren't even trying.
Tiptoeing across the delicate balances,
you keep your status in check.
Your ego reaches the heights of legend.
Evermore the knight in shiny armor
to everyone but me.
I am no more the scapegoat for your aloof sensibilities.
A request it didn't occur to you make.
Nonetheless.
A gap is left upon my departure
unfitting to my form.
© 2008 Sarah McKeever Hitt
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
